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Four Plus an Angel by Jessica Watson

Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby

Autism awareness we still need

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Most autism parents will tell you they have more than enough autism awareness. They will say autism is their life 24/7 and they are more aware than they ever thought they would be. It's tough to find anyone who doesn't know someone with autism. The world is finally shifting to a time when the autism community is asking for acceptance because we are all aware. But... there is a huge part of autism that people are not aware of-- that I was not aware of until we reached the phase of autism we will be in for the rest of my daughter's life. The part where Ashlyn is an adult and has no freedom over her finances. In order for her to receive the support at home she needs she must always Continue Reading

On the other side of grief

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Nearly every time I took my kids out in public when they were little a sentimental senior would remind me to enjoy them or tell me how quickly they would grow-- how precious these days were. Sometimes they would offer their well-meaning advice when the kids were holding hands and happy and no one had fought over anything in 32.5 seconds. But sometimes it was while I was wrestling a wriggling kid under my arm, carrying bags under my eyes and a heavy side of grief. There was a long answer I want to give them but I never offered it. I'd smile and say "I do" or "I know" or offer a "yes, this is amazing" through gritted teeth as I peeled a planking child off a germ-infested floor. But when I Continue Reading

Books you won’t be able to put down

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books you won't be able to put down

The number of fiction books I've read since the beginning of the pandemic says a lot about my need to escape all the things. I've had no problem surpassing my Goodreads goal for the past two years. Before my list of books you won't be able to put down gets any longer I had to share them with you. Plus we're all going to have SO much extra reading time with the upcoming holiday breaks (italics= sarcasm font). So here's my latest must read list, let me know what you've read, what you're planning to read and please, please, please tell me what I need to read too. Nothing to see here This is the book to read if you need to get to your Goodreads goal quickly. It's a quick read with a Continue Reading

What to do for International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

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October 15th is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It marks the end of a marathon of anniversary dates for us. We lost Hadley on October 11 so having this day so soon after fits with the mood of the month. Every year I'm still fighting off my grief hangover from our anniversary dates and this remembrance day finishes off our emotional week. The good (if you can call it that) thing about being 14 years into this journey is that I've got this remembrance day down. I know what I want to do, how I want to pay tribute to the many other loss families I've connected with and where to go for the resources I need. Since a recent reader of my work called me a "grief Continue Reading

12 Books you must read in the new year

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Like everyone else I've spent more time home in 2020 than I could have ever imagined. With all this time at home has come a ton of books and some extra time to actually read them. My list of favorites is growing again so it's definitely time for another book list. It took me a while to narrow them down but I think I've got it down to my top 12 of 2020. Full disclosure, it takes me way too long to finish blog posts these days. While working on this post I may have read a few more books so there's a 2021 pick or two on this list. Here's everything I've loved lately that you should absolutely add to your wish list, put on hold at the library or run out and buy: Sing, Unburied, Sing Continue Reading

What I would tell my newly grieving self

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preemie holding finger

Years ago I stuck a photo to the side of our fridge of Mark and I at our wedding shower. I loved the reminder of our early days until I didn't anymore. Hollowed out by grief I would stare at that photo and wonder who that girl was smiling effortlessly at the camera. Eventually I took the photo down. It was too hard to reconcile how the sparkle of a future in front of us had changed to an impossible lifetime without one of our children. I didn't recognize myself anymore. I've made peace with the person I became after we lost our daughter and thought a lot about what I would tell her if I could go back in time. To my newly grieving self, At some point you will wake up and not be Continue Reading

If you need help right now

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This post was written in partnership with the Michigan State Housing Development Authority (MSHDA). I am compensated for spreading the word about MSHDA programs, but all thoughts, dramatic stories, and run-on sentences are my own. We sat in a quaint diner, three blocks from the lake we loved and decided to put in an offer on a sunny lake house we'd been circling for weeks. A year or so out from our wedding, we spent weekends when Ashlyn was at her grandparents driving around and around trying to find our next home. Never ones for sitting still when it comes to where we live, our house hunt was on again. Our first home together wasn't going to cut it if our plans to grow our family ever Continue Reading

A Home Was Waiting When We Were Ready

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teen parenting over the years

This post was written by me in partnership with the Michigan State Housing Development Authority. I have been compensated for my time but all thoughts, opinions and crazy stories are my own. I've spent the last week binge-watching the show "Unexpected" whenever my kids aren't in the room. During every episode, I ask myself at least five times why in the world I'm watching this show. But I know why. I was once these girls. Minus the three generations of teen moms in their families and the now-in fashion nose ring, but I was still a teen mom with no idea what I was doing. Just clueless enough to think I knew it all. As "Unexpected" follows the path of each teen mom, they inevitably Continue Reading

All you need to know to be a homeschooler right now

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homeschooling

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine homeschooling would become wildly popular because of a pandemic. We've been homeschooling for years and years and years and, as much as I didn't think I knew what I was doing, people are asking me all kinds of questions and I have answers! Maybe I do know what I'm doing after all. Here's the quick(ish) version of what you need to know about homeschooling life in order to make things work for your own family. Patience is like your ab muscles- Right now you're in, let's say, your first post C-section workout. You've got zero strength, everything is burning and you can maybe do half a crunch before your eyes start watering. But when you start Continue Reading

Full circle baby, full circle

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When you were young you were colicky, both of you were. I mean I think that's what it was. At 6 pm every evening one of you would start crying and cry and cry for hours. Your dad would walk in the door from work, swing his tie over the shoulder of his suit jacket and take over so my biceps could rest or I could cook dinner or help your sister with homework. Whatever fire needed put out we just kept squirting water out in front of us, blindly hoping to make a dent in it that day before it kindled again the next. We had all kinds of tricks in our evening repertoire. Bounce him up higher, closer to your face while you hum.I think she stopped when the blow dryer was on. No, it has to be Continue Reading